Finding the Balance

Sooo.. things are good. Somehow, the changing season has provoked me into finding a new balance in my life. I am actually trying to find time to exercise as I'm no longer walking around campus nearly 20 mins per day five days a week and man am I noticing it. Besides, I have a puppy who cannot stand to be bored- so he needs to walk. Then there's adding more fruits and veggies in the daily diet.

Tomorrow I begin office hours at the studio which isn't an issue at all. Just one more adjustment this new position. I think sitting at the studio, even if there isn't one call, will really help me get my work to-do list done, work on being a bit more organized personally, study more, and hell maybe I'll get to write a blog post or two...or three...or.....

To be honest, not sure why I'm blogging this, but, I'm getting it out of my head and that helps.

And I don't care how crazy or rambly you all think I am. ;-)

Relief!!

Guess what I got in the mail today?

I have been approved!! My request for student loan consolidation has been approved and I cannot adequatly express what a relief it is!

Finally seeing the light at the end of this long, long tunnel

Getting Back

The attempted break-in at our house last week was unnerving at its best and horrifying at its worse. My roommate and I were reeling from what occured and we each dealt with it in our own way- which come to find out we are complete opposites when it comes to coping. My roomie is the activist type. She called her friend who was a cop, reported the events to the police, talked to them, put a baby gate on the back door, and so on. She needed to regain a sense of control over her environment. Me on the other hand, I withdrew. Going through each day slightly disconnected from everyone and everything, and just trying to keep myself numb.

After a few days I had a small revelation- actually I had a rather profound epiphany! It didn't hit me like a Mack truk, just oozed out of my brain, coating me in understanding. Let me backtrack a bit- when we realized what happened, with the house, I lost my sense of security- or something along those lines- and thus withdrew inward. Then it occured to me, I have done this repeatedly throughout my life. When I was a child and throughout my teenage years whenever there was tension, fights, I retreated literally and emotionally. I didn't want to connect, I couldn't because I didn't feel safe. When s*it hit the fan in Japan I withdrew even further and we all know where that led me. Leaving my family for good resulted in the same behavior, but, fortunatly I had enough friends and school to keep me from becoming an emotional hermit and self-destructive. More recently, when Jon and I had a rough patch a few weeks back, I felt that I was teetering on the edge, insecure, and became practically a zombie; disconnected and [again] withdrawn.

Really, in comparison to all of that a near break-in is rather minor. After I connected the dots I began to think about how I need to react to the situation. I don't want to allow some random criminal act to rob me of what is good about my life and I will not allow myself to dismiss what I am happy about. I have an amazing boyfriend, a nice roommate, a comfortable and cute house to live in, pets who make me smile every single day, a great job that I'm happy to do, and the realization of endless possibilities for the future. I am not stuck, my life is rather satisfying, and you know a random crime is not going to devalue those in anyway.

Don't get me wrong, I still am checking the locks at night, taking extra precautions, and even Louie refuses to leave the front room at night. We're all more aware, but, that's normal and natural. It's when I allow an unnerving event get to the point where I stay inside my head and begin the whole 'going nuts' thing again. Yes, I use that phrase because after all I was in a mental instituation for awhile- I like to say I was genuinely certifiable ;-). All joking aside, I am grateful that I'm learning to let go, yet getting back more control, and realizing more about myself- even if the source of all of this is not so pleasant.

It's called life- and I can choose to grow from the good and the bad.

Cuuhhhhhraaapppppp

When Jon was leaving tonight I noticed there were marks on the inside of the door. Marks that were not there yesterday. Upon closer inspection it was obvious that those marks were made by a crowbar. My memory wafted back to early this morning when I heard Louie barking, loudly, and (for him) viciously. Best we can figure, someone tried to pry our door open early this morning in hopes they could swipe something and Louie's barking and our sliding bolt saved the day.

Ugh and ugh. A call has already been made to our landlord, David, who thankfully will add more safety measures to the front door, the back door, and our fence gate. I am doing what I can to keep the "What if?" scenarios at bay and just process through all of the rather intense emotions. Most importantly, keep focused on the fact that we are okay and they (whoever they are) did not succeed. Some people aren't so lucky.

Say What!?!

I have a couple of really nice, thoughtful, blog posts stewing in my brain. One about my experiences with cultures, personal growth, and all that jazz and the other giving a glimpse into my new position at the studio. However, I'm going to set that all aside for now and talk about Louie my 7 month old mutant puppy.

Now I know you all have had a whole lotta Louie. It's hard not to constantly post pictures of his cuteness. Fortunatly, this entry is not about Louie's cuteness, but, rather his ancestry. About three weeks ago I bought a DNA breed identification kit, swabed the inside of Louie's cheek, and sent it off in hopes that we could uncover the mystery that is my Heinz 57 special puppy.

Originally we were told Louie is a Corgi/Collie mix. I had some doubts those were the only breeds in Louie as he has rather webbed feet and floppy ears. The trainers at the training school I took Louie said he had Golden Retriever, even a Duck Tolling Retriever was thrown out there. So, when I recieved the big envelope with Louie's results in the mail yesterday I was eager to see what it said.

Drumroll please....

A chow chow, chihuahua mix!?!?!? Are you effin' kidding me? Now the American Eskimo and Sheltie I can wrap my head around. Though level 4 means he has only 20-40% of that in him. However, that means the chow chow and chihuahua should be the dominant breeds within Loulou.

According to these papers Louie's DNA is at minimum 65% ish acounted for. There was also the caveat that not all breeds are on their records and IF by chance there is an unidentifiable breed they would then find the nearest ancient breed(s) within your doggie's DNA. Both chow-chow and chihuahua are ancient breeds. So, maybe, just maybe Louie has an unusual breed within him?

I ask you.... does he look like a chow chow/chihuahua mix to you? Where did his floppy ears come from, the webbed feet? Is Louie in that 8% of the mix breed population that has DNA in them that this company BioPet doesn't have listed? I have no flippin' idea. Instead of answers I now have even more questions. Ah life's little loopdie-loops- apparently they can seep in anywhere- even your dog's 'questionable' lineage.

Just Like a Cat

"Would the animal that got into the paint pan please raise your hand!"

Thanks for being honsest Mina.

Quote du Jour

I kept thinking to myself, "I need to blog- but, what to blog!?" Finally I tripped over a quote over on Michelle's FB profile that spoke to me and I knew I had to blog it.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~Anais Nin

Nothing like a thought provoking/inspirational quote to end a hectic week. Bon week-end tout le monde!

Do You Know What a Psoas Muscle Is?

Sorry for the anatomy lesson there, I had a hard time finding a bigger pic- but the Psoas major is what I'm talking about.

So adding to my list of 'how did you get that?' bizarre-like injuries I can now add a strained psoas muscle. It's not a major ordeal, for the most part. I'm uncomfortable at the worst. It's difficult to sit for long periods of time, can't really workout, those kind of things. At least laying on the couch, ice packs, and a whole lotta nothing does a world of good!

How did I do this? I'll spare you all the nitty-gritty details, as there are none. I simply thought I could lift Louie up on the porch when he got interested in sniffing something in the front flower bed. Little did I think (well I didn't think at all really) about how much Louie could weigh at this point and how it may not be wise to test how well I could withstand hoisting a dog who easily weighs half if not more than half of my weight. Yes, I do have serious blond moments now and then.

You may now laugh at me and roll your eyes.

Now for Something Completly Different!

I try not to get political in my blog as that's not what I want it to be centered around. However, I will say I have been really disturbed (not to mention confused) by some of the over-the-top reactions, conspiracy theories, and sometimes rediculous and bizarre accusations over Pres. Obama'a speech to school children has caused. I know he's a socialist commie nazi, but just imagine how much internal strife goes on inside him trying to balance all three completely disparent political philosphy and still find time to be a secret muslim. :-P (please note that last statement is ALL sarcasm)

So... here is a vid from YouTube. The clip has been used before to saterize different things, but it doesn't stop its hilarity as political satire for this particular situation.

Enjoy!

We Have a What?!

My roomie's parents came down from Iowa this holiday weekend for a brief visit. We've been having little house problems here and there, so, her folks swung by the house to look at them. Her father inspected a couple of places and told us what was up and what we needed to do. He also took a closer look at the massive tree in our front yard and declared it to be a pecan tree. Of course, I googled it, compared the leaves (which you don't see in the pic) and the green 'pods' (my term) in it and sure enough we do!

Now we get to figure out if we want to collect pecans or not. And then if we do what to cook? I know there's the classics such as pecan pie and sugar coated pecans. Is there anything else I'm not thinking of?

Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Programing

Louie missed you! Sorry about the old picture, but, I left my camera at a friends house last night. Whoops!

The cable guy came on time yesterday to set up our internet! Not to brag, but, I'm impressed that I greeted him at the door sans make-up, coffee, and food and I still managed to smile. Jon set up the wireless router which my roommate and I named "TU Blondes" as an hommage to our alma mater. I have spent the last 24 hours catching up with blogs, checking out websites, and gaining a sense of connection to the world outside. Yes, it feels REALLY good!

My roommie and I split our bills up. Rather than keep track of specific amounts to pay one another for bills we take care of individual bills (me- water, electricity for example) and only worry about evenly splitting the cost of rent. Less stress and hassle we figured. Well, my roommate was incharge of cable and the internet. After much wrestling back and forth (what really went on I don't exactly know) she decided to switch to satellite service. Fine by me, as long as I get more the four channels to watch! The only problem is she canceled the internet, again why I don't know, as well and we ended up using someone else's wireless network which had the same name as ours. All was well until, obviously, a month ago when that wireless netwok we were using started having massive issues. Finally after some interogation she fessed up. Okay, fine, whatever let's just get the internet back.

My roommie did some online research at work and came up with one price from one service. Uhh... that's really not shopping around in my book and I was beginning to get a wee bit cranky about it all. Here I was unable to research myself, needing to be online for work, only able to get on inbetween lessons at the studio, and day by day getting more and more agitated that my roommate who has constant access to the internet at work isn't pulling her weight. Finally after going back and forth for a couple of weeks with her Jon did some research- actual good research with prices from a couple of providers and their respective speeds, costs, etc. I told my roommate I would put it all in my name and deal with it (but we were splitting the cost on this). She agreed and in no time I was signed up and a couple of days after that the cable guy came.

Moral of the story: Always stay in the loop with bills for services even if you aren't directly responsible for them.

Coming Soon...

I took control and internet service is scheduled to be up and running at ma maison this Friday or Saturday. I am practically shaking with joy and anticipation.

I have so much to tell... I have no idea where to begin. The dogs ate ant poison (but, are okay- my heart is another story); Jon and I went through a rough stage, but, all has settled down; I got a professional massage for the first time and have decided that wars would never begin if we all got slathered in oil and rubbed down; my new position is crazy, but, awesome; and oh so much more.

I can't wait to be back here on a regular basis. I hope you all are well and please know that I've miss you all very much!!

'See' you soon!!