Post Trip Hangover

I am back from my little trip in Chicago.  It was amazing, fun, and all a vacation should be.  Jon and I ate way too much food, and we'll be eating like peasants for awhile to pay for that, but, talk about worth it.  I have so much to catch you all up on, but, I just haven't gotten around to thinking about it, much less doing things to help with that (like uploading and sorting through nearly a thousand photos for example).  Hell, the laundry is *almost* done and I've been home since Sunday evening.  I just flat out don't feel up to doing it.  In fairness, I don't like doing laundry most of the time anyways, but, after my vacation the task seems especially burdensome.

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So, I have diagnosed myself as having post traumatic vacation hangover.  Symptoms include; nostalgia, fatigue, lack of motivation, complaining about every day tasks, disorientation to said simple daily tasks, and just not having one's s*it together.

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If only they made a pill for this sort of thing.  Wouldn't that be lovely?  Well, I will get my butt in gear soon enough, get those photos uploaded, and get you all caught up on my ever so not exciting life.  Love you all and hope all is well!!

Good Morning

Good morning from hot and steamy Oklahoma!  The temps this week are predicted to hit hundred to a hundred plus starting today through Friday.  Can we all say, "UGH!".  If the summer  temperatures end up anything like last year's, Jon and I may consider emigrating to another, cooler location. I still haven't won my argument to live in Europe, but, I have broken him down to Canada.  One step at a time, eh?

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So, as I enjoy the last bit of my coffee on our front porch, I'm going to just have an all out brain dump if you don't mind.  So much has been happening, and I feel the need to clear out my head.  Brace yourselves, this could get messy.

 Pride and Prejudice, in French.  I flip back to the English version when I'm lost... I'm not that good!

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First thing on my mind are my, still, incredibly sore arm and upper body muscles!  I started working out with a trainer in February, every Friday, as I was having a persistent psoas strain.  I couldn't figure out what in the world I was doing wrong in dance to cause this issue.  I'm happy to report that, the strain has gone away, I've gotten stronger, fitter, and am learning how to train and take care of my body better than before.  My Irish dance teacher has noticed a difference too, so double win.  I love the intensity of my workouts, but, dear Lord I do not like the soreness.  It's so bad this weekend that I still can't fully extend my arm and lock in my elbows?  How sad is that?

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My muscles did not benefit from the extensive yard/garden work Jon and I did yesterday.  Did I mention we have been working out tails off to elevate our yard and garden from a neglected/abandoned state to work in progress?  We started a little late, May, but, we are nearly done with the beds and we hope, that we can make a patio happen in the backyard before summer's end, so we can enjoy some outdoor living.  I have had romantic notions of sitting outside, enjoying dinner, and some wine, looking at a lovely the backyard or front yard (as you can tell from the picture above) and just enjoying slowing down and taking in the world around me.  Is that silly?  I will be posting pictures soon to give you an idea of what we've been up to out there.  I feel kind of, well, odd that I've gone all gung ho for gardening.  I used to hate it as a child, even though I adore flowers of all varieties.  After two years of looking at the depressing landscape that was our yard I decided it wasn't going to look pretty unless we did something about it, or struck it mondo big, and pay for someone to exorcise the weeds and shabby bushes from our neglected beds.  And, yeah... that last one, wasn't going to happen anytime soon.  I should be grateful for my trainer, though, I don't think I would've been able to do half of what I have done if it weren't for the strength I've developed.  I guess, in that way, it's worth the pain, huh?

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Also on my mind, is the road trip to Chicago Jon and I will embark on this Saturday.  That's six days and counting folks!  I'm super excited about this trip because, not only is it the first time Jon and I will go on a legit vacation (don't get me started how sad it is that it took seven years to do it!), it will be a week full of Irish dance mania as the Nationals are being held there that week.  Oh, did I mention it's in CHICAGO??  I did?  Can you tell I'm excited by that?  

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This trip has been fun to plan as I've never really planned out one like this before.  We had to book a hotel room WAY in advanced, figure out driving, had to find a place to park our car cheaply once in Chicago (mega challenge btw), we will be getting public transit passes which I haven't done since living in Japan.  Being foodies and watching tons of travel and food shows, we've looked up places to eat and we are overwhelmed by all of the options.  We also plan on going by the Navy Pier near our hotel and we have more than one option to do something on the 4th of July.  I'll also be hanging with my awesome Irish dance peeps, get some dance shopping in, seeing some AMAZING dancing, but, at the same time I'll get to enjoy Jon's company, and then go out with him in between all of that.  Oh, yes, and doing all of those fun things within a reasonable budget. The only hitches left are getting the house sorted, getting the key to our cat sitter, making sure we get enough supplies for the trip, getting the dogs situated,  and figuring out what to do with Leo.  His health scare has put a bit of a delay on partnering, which was planned on happening very soon.  I'd love to take him with me, but, I need to check with Therapetics to see if they're comfortable with that idea.  I can't blame them for not wanting him to be out of state, even though he is getting healthier by the day.  So, some things have to get figured out and more manic work will be done in the following days to get ready for this trip, but, I think it will be worth it.

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Oh, quick mention.  I'll be getting another puppy to start training with Therapetics.  It'll be so sad to see Leo go, but, you know he's such an amazing service dog and he genuinely loves to work.  It'd be a shame for him not to be partnered.  So, I must let go so he can be happy and fulfill his 'destiny' (gawd I watch way to much Sci Fi/Fantasy stuff lol).

Speaking of Mr Leo, here's a cute shot of him and the other dogs chillin' with me on the porch.  I don't think I've introduced you all to the little beagle in the corner.  That is Miss Penelope, Penny for short.  Jon and I saw her, in April, walking along side a busy street as we were pulling out of a our parking spot.  Jon got out of the car and literally scooped her off the street and the poor baby was just so stressed out.  We had no luck finding her owners in any ads, and she doesn't have a microchip, despite being a purebred beagle.  The biggest stressor was that, at first, it appeared that she was preggers!  However, a vet's visit later we found out she was actually going through a false pregnancy; probably due to being very stressed out while she was in heat.  How wild is that?  She has since been spayed and she has steadily learned to relax and enjoy being a dog.  You can tell, she was probably left outside and neglected for quite some time; for example, it took us nearly a month just to get her to accept treats from our hand without cowering.  How sad is that?  I'm glad Penny has joined our small zoo as she has a very laid back temperament and doesn't take up too much space.  She's so sweet,  and I like to think she is glad she's here too.

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Alrighty, that's it for my little brain dump.  Sorry if this post has no cohesiveness whatsoever, but, some days are just like that.  I've gotta get to some errands and more yard work.  Can you hear my aching muscles scream with delight?  You can't?  Hmmm... funny thing is, neither can I. ;-)  I hope you, my dear friends, are having a lovely weekend and I wish you a pleasant start to the week.  Bisous tout le monde!

Happy Thoughts

Thank you for the kind comments about Leo.  He's doing SO much better!  No more swelling, he's walking fine, we're just having to battle some steroid side effects (ie He pees... A LOT!!!).  So, while we are still waiting to know what in the world happened, a sense of normalcy is beginning to return.

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Let us take a break from near dog death experiences, and checkout this fabulous picture.  That is a man, a barista (or is it baristo?) who is making coffee for me and my co-workers.  Why is he there you ask?  Well, I will tell you why!  My company thinks it's a very cool and good idea to have some coffee people come in every couple of months and make espresso, coffee, and/or tea drinks for all the employees for FREE.  That's right, all the caffeine we can handle for the morning, at no cost to us.  Amazing.  This company actually thinks that happy workers make productive workers- and keeping their employees happy is a top priority.  Imagine that!

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On a side note, I had perhaps the most productive day I've ever had yesterday during coffee day.  Wonder if the two are related?

Big Scare

Friday, Leo nearly died.

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When we got up that morning, he wouldn't move and was whining a lot.  Jon had to carry him to the vet, where we dropped him off and waited to hear back what they thought the deal was.  Two phone calls, and a lot of questions, later the vet told me that an infection, possibly from a tick or spider bite, was attacking Leo's joints causing them to swell with fluid build up.  The swelling came on while Leo was at the vet's, so, obviously his system was being attacked hard and fast.  The vet told me, "This is serious... This could be life threatening."

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Leo was give shots of steroids and antibiotics.  He was also put on IV fluids to keep his body hydrated as he was so sedated he couldn't do much of anything and was not interested in food nor drink.  Jon and I visited him before they closed, Friday evening, and all we could do is love on him and pray he got to the vet's and received care soon enough.

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Saturday morning rolled around and I got a very welcomed call from the vet's office.  Leo was walking around, and while he had fluid build up in one leg, the other joints were looking good.  He got another round of steroids and antibiotics and they would give me pills to give him at home.  We thankfully picked him up and have been spoiling him rotten since.

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He's slowly on the mend, everyday returning more and more to his usual goofy, sweet self. A sample of the fluid in his joints have been sent off to a lab to be cultured and tested so we can figure out what in the world caused such an aggressive infection.  For now, we will treat him with what we have an change drugs mid-stream if the tests indicate that we should, but, at the very least it's helping.  Right now, it's a one day at a time situation, but, at least with every day that has come since this ordeal, Leo has been improving.  And I cannot thank God enough for that.

What Shut Me Down- Part 2

April came around.  For those who are not in the know, April is the dreaded month of state tests.  For a full two weeks, plus a bit if necessary, our little elementary school had to shut down all normal functions and devote nearly all its resources to testing.  For me this meant, I would sit in a classroom, sometimes for nearly six hours, and monitor tests.  It. was. AWFUL!  No human is meant to sit for two hours plus at a time, not doing much more than coloring (so we didn't distract the student).  I hated it and frankly I think there is some torture out there that I would tolerate better than monitoring state tests.

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Anywho, back to the good stuff.  During all of the testing hubub one teacher finished surprisingly early.  Within two and a half days of testing he was done.  That included testing of his entire class and individual testing as well.  If that didn't seem odd enough, he was caught on camera with test materials when he shouldn't have been carrying them by himself (again, they have monitors for EVERYTHING!).  When my colleague and good friend pointed this out to my principal, she shrugged it off.  That's when things began to get really, and I mean REALLY interesting.

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The weekend after the tests were done, I hung out with my usual group of awesome weekend friends which included my fellow co-worker.  Maybe it was the stress of it all, mixed with fatigue and a drink or two, or perhaps it was just the right time, but, during this little gathering my friend spilled out story after story about the 'behind the scenes' stuff that had been going on at my school.  I knew things were tense, but, I had no idea battle lines were being drawn and the staff was very fractured.  Most people were too scared to speak up about the issues they were having with my principal, who was at the center of most of the problems.

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My friend decided she was tired of it and that she would report the many problems that had occurred, including disregarding cheating and mishandling of the state test.  I told my friend I supported her 110% as she was doing the right thing after all.  While my principal never lashed out to me, I knew that her mismanagement of our school was only going to get worse.  I thought if I kept my head down things would be fine, but, in the meanwhile I would begin interviewing with a company that another good friend of mine worked for.  She literally told me of this position that opened up and needed to be filled asap at the right time.

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As if knowing all of this stuff and interviewing for a new job wasn't stressful enough, my principal began to target me.  My only guess is, she didn't like that I supported my friend and felt rather threatened.   The first strike came in the form of a nasty email about how I needed to improve my attendance (I had been legitimately sick quite a bit this year- thank you stress).  She also said other things to me that could easily be read into as having a double meaning.  I felt awful and paranoid.  My principal would watch my friend, aka the whistle blower, and I talk in the hallways.  In fact, she was also seen going through security tapes to see who my friend was talking to!  I was walking on eggshells, and I felt really trapped.  What if I didn't get a new position?  What if I had to be around my principal's toxic ways again next year because I needed the security of insurance?  

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The list of fears went on, but, you get the idea.  I was a huge mess, having difficulty sleeping at night, and I wasn't going to dance because of how exhausted and 'crazy' I felt.  Nothing provided me relief, but, then my saving grace came.  The job I had gone through three interviews for was offered to me!  I was THRILLED!  I'll go more into my new workplace a bit later, but, to say this company is amazing is an understatement.  It is also located closer to home and they were cool with me training service dogs.  Wins all around.

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The only downside was that I didn't quite have enough hours to qualify for insurance and there was a 90 day 'trying out' period, so to speak.  I decided to take the last two days off of work to start this job, and at the end of the summer I would resign my position with TPS so that I could retain medical insurance until my hours were increased.  That seemed fine and dandy with everyone... but, my principal of course.  When I sent the email telling them how I got this job (which I had been open about seeking from the beginning) and that it could become permanent.  Read, could!  Did I receive hearty congrats?  Nope.  My principal flat out asked for my resignation.  As if my nerves couldn't handle anymore, she throws that little bomb my way!

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I didn't respond to her, I instead reported the emails via my friend (who had a couple of people on her side within TPS).  I thought if I just kept silent, and did my job well that all would be ok.  I only had a couple of weeks to ride out, surely it couldn't get any worse.  I was wrong.  It got WORSE!  I had bizarre schedule changes; for instance, I was subbing for people when I was usually the last one to sub due to how well I got along with the emotionally disturbed student I worked with.  Okay, fine, I thought... still had a job to do and I was going to do it well.  The Monday after my principal asked for my resignation, she announced to the entire staff, after threatening and dismissing my friend out of the meeting, that I was resigning from Lindbergh and wouldn't be back despite the fact I had made it clear I wasn't leaving just yet; I was waiting to make sure my new job was going to be permanent.  Talk about having some nerve!  What in the world was she thinking?

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The last straw came the next day I had to sub for the entire day for a third grade class.  That was fine, the teacher is super sweet and she gave me a lot of good busy work to give her kiddos (who knew me).  I was working on a worksheet with the class when my principal walked into the adjoining classroom (there is an open doorway between the two room) and then came into mine to hand me and another staff person our service pins.  As she's handing it to me, she asks about the email she sent me and my letter for her.  Are you kidding me?  Like I can have an open and honest discussion about that in front of the children?  Throughout the day, she walked into the adjoining room twice and I saw her looking in on me.  Then, I caught her and another staff person peeking in on me, from the hallway, through the window on the door.  That was it.  I talked with Jon and we both agreed that enough was enough.  He encouraged me to email my new company that afternoon and ask if they would go ahead and allow me to have insurance.  Luckily they got back to me right away and said that was fine and they'd love to have me start earlier than planned to boot!

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In light of that, I gave myself one more day in that hell hole to say goodbye to who I could.  It was gut wrenching, it really was, and beyond bittersweet.  The kids were never the real problem and I hated leaving them, but, I knew I wouldn't be able to be happy in life if I stayed in that working environment.  And besides, it wasn't as if I was being paid a whole lot to deal with what I had to day in and day out.  Despite leaving the school building for the last time, in tears, I felt a sense of relief that I was finally getting away from all the drama and from being bullied by my principal. 

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Sadly, the situation there is a long ways from being resolved.  There is a lot of red tape to go through and interviews that were conducted with the entire staff later.  Not to mention, there are wicked politics at play.  My principal has some friends in high places.  On an odd note, she ended up mailing in a false resignation letter to TPS for me, despite the fact I had not written one up yet.  Wild, huh?  My friend has had the worst of it, though.  I could write another two or three paragraphs about what she went through, but, let's just leave it as things were bad, really bad.  I can only hope and pray that the right thing will be done, justice will be served, and someone can lead the teachers there to unite and work together for the benefit of the students.

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I had gotten out of one bad work situation, there was just one more that had to be resolved.  More to come!

The New Everyday

I'm working on part 2 of my little epic of the past months.  In the meantime, here's a video of Leo at my new place of employment, Interworks, Inc. Enjoy!

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What Shut Me Down- Part 1

You all have no idea how lovely it is to read your comments!  Makes a girl feel loved.  Dallas was amazing and I have some fantastic pictures for you.  People dressed up in all sorts of costumes, some brilliant, some... not so much.  It'll be worth the wait, promise.

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First, however, I'll get started on my little story about what caused me to drop of the face of bloglandia, because, if I don't get started soon I'll just keep putting it off.  And I do not need any added stuff needing to be done.  My to-do list is long enough as it is!

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Alright, it looks like I left off during fall.  I did blog about how my school was on the 'bad school' list as our test scores weren't up to snuff.  The state department would come in and inspect us, the school district sent in a specialist to help look at what teachers were doing (lesson plans, strategies, etc), the school even hired a 'staff development' person to help the teachers with what to teach their students, and so on and so forth.  We even were under threat of becoming a charter school if the grade the state department of education gave us wasn't high enough.  It was insane!  Teaching is hard enough, but, have all of that being held over you took hard to an entirely new level!

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The environment was incredibly strained and everybody, even the teachers and TAs who didn't have to worry about state tests, were feeling it.  My good friend, and third grade teacher, suffered a couple of breakdowns and began to see a therapist.  Her situation in particular was unbelievably stressful as many of her students couldn't do basic math nor reading comprehension when they walked into her classroom for the first time.  It was as if the proverbial deck was stacked against her and she didn't want to fail her kids.  I thought the stress of all of that was what was weighing on her.  It was only later in the year, that I realized that there was so much more to her, and many other co-workers', problems.

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My principal was the one who hired me.  She adored Leo and seemed to like me well enough.  At least, she never told me I was doing a horrible job.  I was aware, however, that not everyone was a fan and I figured that was to be expected to some degree.  I tried very hard to be careful about what I said to who and just keep my head down and do my job as best as I could.  Slowly, over the year my principal made some odd decisions.  One was telling everyone on staff that they could not hang out in the office at all anymore.  There other occasions where she made odd requests for specific teachers.  One of the strangest was in March when, out of the blue, she pulled all of the support staff to rearrange the library.  I actually got sick looking at books thanks to that little project.  There were lots of other things as well, but, the gist of it was that my principal seemed to be on edge and downright paranoid that people were against her.  I wish I had been aware how deep that paranoia went.  Sometimes, we can reason things away and dismiss stuff we really should be putting in context of the bigger picture.

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The tension never abated, and it built throughout the school year like some cartoon snowball going down the mountain.  I was not immune to feeling this and most of the time I was in a terrible mood about work.  I loved teaching, I liked the kids, I didn't mind that some of them were high maintenance, but, the high anxiety, depressed staff, and tense atmosphere was really wearing on me.  More than once I had tears in the morning getting ready for work.  I would cry and tell Jon how I didn't want to go to work and I was tired of doing this day after day.  I felt trapped.  I couldn't leave TPS because I needed insurance, I decided becoming a public school teacher was not worth the trouble, and I wasn't left with many options that could give me the flexibility for dance and training service dogs, pay decently, and give me insurance.  

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My situation felt, almost hopeless actually.  At the end of my work day at school I was often tired and cranky and then I had to turn around to go teach piano.  It was all getting to be overwhelming, add problems at the studio I worked for (more on that later) and it really made me a 'delightful' person.  I'm sure you can hear the sarcasm in that statement!  It was awful and I while I did fairly well to keep trucking along, I came to the conclusion that I couldn't keep doing this anymore.  Working myself to the bone for so little and yet having to do more than that just to keep insured and financially.  It was not living, it was survival.  Jon agreed with me and we both kept an eye out for something better.

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Little did I know at the time, something better would come under the most surprising and disturbing of circumstances.  In retrospect, there were signs that a tumultuous storm was to come at the school I worked for.  Perhaps, it was the stress or my naivety that distracted me.  Whatever it was, I was not prepared at all for what occured during my last months at Lindbergh Elementary.