Loosing Sight... Literally

This is one of those entries where I don't know how or where to begin. Forgive me if this entry seems a bit all over the place and long.

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During the nasty blizzard and snow storms we had two weeks ago I noticed something strange going on in the inside of my right eye. It looked like my glasses were somehow 'in the way' like around my nose. I didn't pay much attention at first, but, after a couple of days I took my glasses off and that dark 'spot' was still there. I then thought maybe congestion and pressure were causing this blackish-ness to happen. However, after a few more days and decongestants that dark spot still remained.

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Keep in mind I had no other symptoms going with this, so a trip to the ER didn't seem warranted and I couldn't even get my car out of the bottom of the driveway as the street was covered with snow so high it would've caused problems with my old tank, so, no trip to the doctor. When school began I was so busy getting back into the groove and ready for a weekend of Irish dance competition I put off calling my optometrist.

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The feises were difficult to say the least because of extreme fatigue and my depth perception being so wonky because of this eye thing. I managed good placements, but, not great dancing. In fact, at the second feis last Sunday, I sprained my ankle when I slipped on stage before I went into a turn. I managed to finish,and placed first, but, understandably I had to drop out of the rest of my competitions. I took the following Tuesday off of work due to the swelling in my ankle and since I had a moment to breathe I called my optometrist to arrange an appointment and get some drops or something so I could regain my full field of vision in my right eye.

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Well, no appointment with the eye doc was made. They told me I had to go to an opthamologist as it could be a variety of issues that only an opthamologist could test for. Oh and vision insurance doesn't cover this type of deal, I have to use my medical insurance. Great. Of course, that means I had to go through my PCP to get a referral as I have an HMO. Keep in mind, I am beyond grateful to have insurance! That said, I am beyond over this whole referral approval business. It took my doctors office 24 hours to get my referral approved and that was being listed as an urgent case. The opthamologist wants to do a vision screen as well and that has to get approved. Any tests outside his office will probably have to get approved as well. I hate the thought that finding answers to this problem may drag on and on waiting for approval.

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My PCP believes I have lost about half the vision in my right eye. Nothing looks wrong on the surface which means something funky monkey is going on behind it. It maybe optic nerve damage (bad, bad stuff), it could be a retinal issues, etc. I will need tests, maybe a MRI, and surgery maybe an option. Of course, this all depends on what the opthamologist finds tomorrow.

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To be honest, I'm freaked out. I'm trying very, very hard not to look anything up online and not to obsess over the what ifs going through my brain. The sprained ankle doesn't bother me that much because I KNOW what to do with it. I KNOW the prognosis is good as long I do such and such. I don't know anything about this eye issue and the thought of it being permanent freaks me out. It's hard to type on my phone, stare at comp screens (hence the major slow down in blog posts) for a period of time, music, text in a book, etc. I don't want to live my life not seeing correctly- I get a little nauseated sometimes, pressure headaches, and tired from having to constantly adjust my focus and perception. I just can't imagine going on in this manner. I'm hoping for a diagnosis and solution(s) tomorrow. I just need to know this can be dealt with.