Last week I went back to work. Back to the elementary school, back to piano lessons, back to forty hours teaching children. All of this with my surgical eye recuperating and having three weeks off because of the eye issue- so with 2+2 equaling 4, I've been exhausted. Working and not seeing properly causes more strain than I realized. To think I was doing my everyday thing for over three weeks with impaired vision and dismissing it- gah! How silly was I??
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I shouldn't be driving, but, I have been. Scary stuff! Depth perception is an awesome, awesome thing- especially when you don't have it. Don't worry, I drive as little as possible and as slow as possible without being annoying of course. I have to wear sunglasses in the classrooms I work in because as my pupil can't dilate properly causing the bright light and me aren't good friends. I get splitting, throbbing headaches otherwise (I won't go into how I found this out). I've been reassured this is part of the recovery process, but, while it could be a lot worse, I'm ready to get it over with.
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This Wednesday I go back to the surgeon/opthamologist to see how well my eye is healing. I'm hoping I can go back to dancing, I would like to compete at a feis at the end of April. I'm hoping that the gas bubble with be gone and I can see normally or close to normal-ish. And I really hope the cataract that I will inevitably get (could happen now, could happen in 2 years) hasn't developed so my plans to visit Europe may happen (I've lost so much work thanks to the blizzard and this, I lost nearly all of the funds needed to do go). Mainly, I want to get back to some normalcy and to not feel so tired all of the time.
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Sorry about the whiny entry. I haven't seen correctly since the end of January. While I am beyond grateful my eye was fixed before I went blind, the recovery process feels so slow! I'm ready to move on and get my life back to normal. So, so ready.
8 comments:
I hope you feel better soon!!! Seriously!
Awesome on the piano lessons though! Are you teaching or taking them?
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I've been wondering how you've been. I'm sorry about the headaches :( Good luck at the appt. and keep us posted. Tell the Jon-boy hi... and the puppy-boys hi... and the kitty-fluffs, too ;)
You've been through a lot! I think you deserve a chance to vent about it, unapologetically :-) So great to hear you're back at work and can start stock-piling again for your *inevitable* trip to Europe. Hope all goes well at your appointment :-)
It's not a "whiny" entry.
When you can read again pick up "Invisible: A Memoir" by Hugues de Montalembert.
As I was walking around in Mérida not long ago, I realized that I had brought to fruition many of my most deeply held desires, but it had taken me much, much longer than I had imagined to do so.
Focus (no pun intended) on getting well and take your time. Don't imagine cataracts where none exist, no matter how convinced your doctor might sound as he inserts the certainty into your mind.
Anna- Thank you! I teach piano right now. I've been playing since I was five, so 24 ish years now? Crazy!
Sarah- Thank you chica! The puppy boys, kitty fluffs, and Jon all say hi back!
Caitie- Thank you Catie!! Yeah, it's been crazy! It's just now hitting me how much has happened, how bad the eye was, how much it's taking to get my life sorted back out (at least to some extent).
And thanks for the inevitable! I need that word right now. It's gonna happen, it's just trying to get the money and the when sorted out. But, gosh dammit it'll happen!!
Pliers- So good to hear from you my friend! I'm glad to hear that you had a moment where you realized so much has happened for you. Things you wanted. :-) That's encouraging. I've had a couple of moments like that, but, there is still SO much. It's hard to get caught up in the "I wannas... why hasn't it happened yet?" thoughts. It's even easier to go down that path when one is sitting around for long periods of time recovering!
I did overthink the potential eye issues didn't I? I tend to do that. Think the worst case scenario so I'm prepared for the blow if the worst plays out. It's a strange habit, especially for someone who thinks of herself an optimist more than a pessimist. ;-)
Please remind me if I forget to grab that book. Reading is difficult with the gas bubble in the way. I manage using my left eye as the primary reading eye, but, that gets a bit tiring and sometimes a bit nauseating. Nothing I haven't been used to for the past couple of months though!
That said, I'm totally ready to see normally out of BOTH eyes!
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