"The Incident"

Last night Tia and I headed to bed a little after midnight (as per usual). I started reading to begin my winding down process, but, before I got too tangled up in a work of fiction decided to take a potty break (gotta love the little kid lingo here). I did my business and opened up the small cabinent above the toliet where roomie and I keep our various beauty things and what do I see crawling about?

THIS!!!!!

Immediatly I scream in horror. In all fairness, I wasn't expecting a roach scurring on the bottle of lotion and I HATE roaches. Loathe, despise, and various other adjectives. I won't go into why I have such intense feelings towards these crunchy bastards, but, I will say it stems from a deep seeded trauma.

Don't judge me.

Tia immediatly leaps out of bed, cautiously enters the hallway (as if she knew it wasn't good). I meet her in the hallway and give it to her straight. She hates roaches even more than me which helped the situation ten fold. Knowing that neither of us would sleep in peace of we didn't take exterminate the terror we entered the bathroom. With no real specific plan in mind, we first started prodding through the cabinet; me standing atop the toliet, due to concerns that it had made its way to the floor, with a roll of toliet paper and Tia with a toothbrush. This process did not yield the desired results (I know shocker).

Finally I tell her to go grab a shoe because I was going to lift up the basket on the bottom shelf hoping that would get him out of there. Tia understandably was rather reluctant to surrender her shoe to be used as a murder weapon, but, she relented. I positioned myself in an attack posture(atop the toliet), lifted the basket up with my free hand, and out emerges the four legged trespasser who began to flee knowing, I assume, my malicious purpose. Did I get him? Oh NO! Tia and I both screamed and jumped about...because you know that's 'productive'. I will say that I screamed and leapt across the bathroom into the hallway at Mach 3- I didn't know I could move that fast without injuring myself.

We gathered our wits (took a minute) and after a quick inspection of the floor entered the scene of terror. I get back up on with one foot on the toliet the other on the edge of the bathtub to make a second attempt. By this time he had made his way to the side of the cabinet which was smart b/c it was a horribly awkward angle. I slammed the shoe towards him and he makes a beeline to the top of the cabinet. Somehow, I'm still fuzzy on the details, the kleenex box came down and WHACK WHACK!!

That roach exploded.... no for real it looked like a Mack Truck ran over his body, and everything inside him burst like some festering zit. The carnage was quite impressive. Even moreso considering I'm pretty sure I closed my eyes and moved away with the final death blow. Tia grabbed some 409, paper towels, and I cleaned up the massacre. Yeah it was not pretty.

'The Incident' lasted a total of fifteen minutes. Long enough for our blood pressure to rise and our inner paranoias emerge in the ugliest way possible. We sounded like screaming banshees. Though I'm not proud of that degree of 'wussiness' on display, I at least got things done and Tia gained some comfort in witnessing the entire affair. However, she may never wear that pair of shoes again.

That's not a complete tragedy... I'll probably recieve said pair of shoes. A trophy of my great adventure as 'exterminator'.