Sunday, February 27, 2011

Loosing Sight... Literally

This is one of those entries where I don't know how or where to begin. Forgive me if this entry seems a bit all over the place and long.
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During the nasty blizzard and snow storms we had two weeks ago I noticed something strange going on in the inside of my right eye. It looked like my glasses were somehow 'in the way' like around my nose. I didn't pay much attention at first, but, after a couple of days I took my glasses off and that dark 'spot' was still there. I then thought maybe congestion and pressure were causing this blackish-ness to happen. However, after a few more days and decongestants that dark spot still remained.
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Keep in mind I had no other symptoms going with this, so a trip to the ER didn't seem warranted and I couldn't even get my car out of the bottom of the driveway as the street was covered with snow so high it would've caused problems with my old tank, so, no trip to the doctor. When school began I was so busy getting back into the groove and ready for a weekend of Irish dance competition I put off calling my optometrist.
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The feises were difficult to say the least because of extreme fatigue and my depth perception being so wonky because of this eye thing. I managed good placements, but, not great dancing. In fact, at the second feis last Sunday, I sprained my ankle when I slipped on stage before I went into a turn. I managed to finish,and placed first, but, understandably I had to drop out of the rest of my competitions. I took the following Tuesday off of work due to the swelling in my ankle and since I had a moment to breathe I called my optometrist to arrange an appointment and get some drops or something so I could regain my full field of vision in my right eye.
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Well, no appointment with the eye doc was made. They told me I had to go to an opthamologist as it could be a variety of issues that only an opthamologist could test for. Oh and vision insurance doesn't cover this type of deal, I have to use my medical insurance. Great. Of course, that means I had to go through my PCP to get a referral as I have an HMO. Keep in mind, I am beyond grateful to have insurance! That said, I am beyond over this whole referral approval business. It took my doctors office 24 hours to get my referral approved and that was being listed as an urgent case. The opthamologist wants to do a vision screen as well and that has to get approved. Any tests outside his office will probably have to get approved as well. I hate the thought that finding answers to this problem may drag on and on waiting for approval.
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My PCP believes I have lost about half the vision in my right eye. Nothing looks wrong on the surface which means something funky monkey is going on behind it. It maybe optic nerve damage (bad, bad stuff), it could be a retinal issues, etc. I will need tests, maybe a MRI, and surgery maybe an option. Of course, this all depends on what the opthamologist finds tomorrow.
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To be honest, I'm freaked out. I'm trying very, very hard not to look anything up online and not to obsess over the what ifs going through my brain. The sprained ankle doesn't bother me that much because I KNOW what to do with it. I KNOW the prognosis is good as long I do such and such. I don't know anything about this eye issue and the thought of it being permanent freaks me out. It's hard to type on my phone, stare at comp screens (hence the major slow down in blog posts) for a period of time, music, text in a book, etc. I don't want to live my life not seeing correctly- I get a little nauseated sometimes, pressure headaches, and tired from having to constantly adjust my focus and perception. I just can't imagine going on in this manner. I'm hoping for a diagnosis and solution(s) tomorrow. I just need to know this can be dealt with.

10 comments:

Sarah said...

OH GIRL!! That's just scary as hell! Who are you seeing? Call me... message me... let me know if you need a ride anywhere because we don't have anything going on. I will put you in my thoughts and hope that it all turns out to be minor. And... I don't know if it helps at all... but I luv ya!!! (Maybe a good omen? My CAPTCHA word is 'gluck' which is 'luck' in German!)

Habebi said...

Thank you chica! It does help a lot!! You're so sweet. I think I'll be okay getting there, I'm leaving work early. Hopefully they won't do anything drastic like rip my eye out! lol I will let you know though. Thank you so much! Seriously, this means the world to me.

Gah...I promised myself I wouldn't cry! lol I'm all teary eyed now.

Sarah said...

Well, I seriously mean it, if you need help, call me! And by help, if that means bringing dinner and/or drinks and/or me and/or a ride, I can do that, too. (((HUGS)))

Sara Louise said...

Oh sh*t! I don't even know what to say. But my fingers are crossed for you and I'm going to be thinking about you and trying to send as many good vibes your way. I'm so very sorry xoxo

annelise said...

Oh crap. I bet you're freaking out but I know from working as a medical secretary for a few years that the things that cause the most worry often seem to clear themselves up of their own accord. Not much help when you're waiting and stressing, I know but always worth keeping in mind.

Take it easy and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Caitie said...

Oh my goodness! I am thinking of you, and I hope everything is positive for you tomorrow. Congratulations on placing first doing something you love, and you are in my thoughts :-)

Habebi said...

Sarah- Thanks babe! Since I had to stay home to make sure Leo's ok Jon will give me a ride there (in case they have to dialate and all that jazz). I'll let you know if I need anything else though! Right now, it's just waiting to get in and see what he says. Oh, it's Dr. Wolfe from one of the Utica clinics. Thanks mucho, mucho hun. I'll keep you updated!

Habebi said...

Sara Louise- Thanks girl! Those help loads I'm serious. Just hoping for a straightforward solution!

Habebi said...

annelise- Thanks for that! Yes, it's easy to get wrapped up in freaking out. I was looking at somethings online and had to make myself stop! It's so easy to get caught up in that stuff. I'm hoping for a nice straightfoward answer and solution! I just keep repeating this to myself. lol It will all work out, as it usually does. Thanks for the kind words!

Habebi said...

Caitie- Thanks for the positive vibes and congratulations! I'm always trying to see the bright side. A friend of mine did amazing at those feises I was at and reached the highest level of competitive Irish dance by getting two firsts her first time at this level!! I told her I had the crummy dance weekend so she could have an amazing weekend lol.

Got find the humor in life right?