Monday, March 29, 2010

My Decision

The answer to the question I was pondering earlier is
Absolutely, you all were right and I knew it when I read your comments. Yes, I want to go, live in Europe, and give it a try just because if I don't I'll always wonder, "What if?" I refuse to live my life with regrets weighing me down. I also feel that itch to do it and I'm drawn to go down that path for some reason or another.
Coming to that yes nearly brought me to tears. I felt relieved as if a huge weight floated off of me. The other emotions were a mix of awe, fear, wonderment, and questions galore. I had to talk to Jon about this and I did. Unfortunatly though, telling him left me with even more questions and fears. Jon doesn't exactly share my enthusiasm for galavanting off to another continent. At furthest he'd considering moving to (at least at this point) is Vancouver, Canada.
So... here I am with an idea to go, no clue what I'm getting myself into, and the definite possibility my boyfriend, who I thought I would marry, won't follow. I don't know what this all means for my future at all. However, I do have great, well informed, friends and I hope you don't all mind if I draw strength and knowledge from you fabulous people. Thank you for putting up with me to this point. Hope you don't mind helping me jump on this ride.
Ps- Leo is doing much better! Back to his normal self. Thank you all for the kind comments and Leo appreciates them too. :)


Sarah said...

If you need to crash here sometime, you know I'm around! And I may not necessarily understand it all, but I can listen! (((HUGS)))

Habebi said...

*hug* Thanks girl! You know I could always use some Sarah time. :) Who else am I going to vent to? Luv ya hun!

Jessica said...

Well bummer... perhaps he'll come around? Or perhaps you'll have to take a sabbatical a la Eat Pray Love? ;) Either way, if you make it over to Australia, you always have a place to stay and a lab's belly to rub. ;)

Habebi said...

Jessica! You are too kind, thank you! I hope I can take you up on that offer someday. Of course, if you find yourself in these parts (good Lord does that sound Southern or what?) you are most welcome to come and crash at my place.

I hope Jon will come around, but, if he doesn't then I'll have to figure it out. We've talked about stuff and I'll post more on that later. But, in the end I do need to get out there in the big bad [foreign] world and spread my wings a bit. Thanks for all the support!

lovelyinlux said...

First of all, that picture looks strangely familiar...if it's not of Luxembourg, I promise that if you were to come here, it would be quite similar in appearance!

Second of all, maybe you should come over for another visit in order to temporarily quench your thirst for Europe...I know you've got friends/family in France, but you're also very welcome to stay at our house! I promise we're not scary weirdos :-) In fact, every time my husband reads one of your nice comments on my blog, he says "You should invite her to come stay with us!" So this serves as your invitation. :-)

As far as boyfriends go, I was in your same situation once. I think if you have a particular dream, and you go for it, the rest will work itself out "magically"...the universe works in mysterious ways...that may mean that he gets a change of heart and comes along, or that something else happens that's better for both of you.

Anyway, that's my rant...come over any time!

P.S. I have a piano you can play on :-)

Habebi said...

Lovely- I got the picture off of Google images, so I have no idea where it was taken. However, I loved it so I put it up there. Just seems to embody Europe in a little way to me.

That said if Lux has places like that I will have to stop by! You are right, I at the very least need a trip over to Europe to see some friends. And if I can make it work to see you I will as I'm sure there are trains from Paris to Lux. Thank you for the kind invitation! Seriously, you made my day with that. I got a warm fuzzy. :) My only issue getting over the pond is the expense of tickets- they have doubled since last year! It makes it difficult to work as I don't make a whole lot, but, I am working on saving and some other ideas to get there. May take a bit of time, but, I can be patient for this! lol Thank you again, and 'danke' (I hope I spelled that right) to your very cool and kind husband. I will have to take you up on that sometime soon. Of course, you are always welcome in my home if you and/or your hubby are in or by Tulsa and need a place to stay. I promise I'm not a scary weirdo either!

Thanks for putting the boyfriend situation in perspective. I'm trying not to stress too much as this will happen in the future and until I know exactly what I'll be doing there's no need to obsess too much. I think what scares me most is the thought that we don't work out because of this, loosing him, and one day having to start all over again with someone. Freaky to think about. However, you're right- things will work out the way they need to as they always tend to. Just have to keep focused on the positive and the journey right?

Thanks for that rant, you made my day brighter! I was going to write a post about that earlier, but, blogger wasn't cooperating. Ah well, blogger can't ruin this fine day.

Take care girl! And again thank you so much! You really are lovely you know that right?

ps- Piano = happy :)

annelise said...

Hi! I know I'm late to the party, having just come across your blog today, but I just had to add my two cents to this post!

I was in the exact same position as you - wanted to go to London for a couple of years (I live in Australia) to live for a little while but my boyfriend wasn't interested. We compromised and I went for six months, but I wasn't happy. Even when I got back home, I wasn't satisfied. After a couple of years, we broke up (not because of the travel) and I decided to go back and do it properly.

I spent a year in Ireland and it was the best thing I ever did. I was 27, went by myself, saw so much, meet so many amazing people and just had the best experience.

My advice is just go. There's no rules: if you hate it, go back home. But you've got to try it! It's the kind of thing you have to try because a couple of years down the track, it could be too late!

So there you go, advice from a complete stranger (don't you just love blogging?!) but it's something I'm so passionate about!

Good luck!!


The Pliers said...

Are you aware that the web page for the French Consulate has positions available annually for American young people with a 4 year degree to teach English in a French town for at least a year WITH a monthly stipend?

One has to apply but it is a way to come to France with a minimum monthly income.

There's an interesting article here:

that you might enjoy reading.


Habebi said...

Annelise- Welcome to my little corner of the blogosphere! Yes, blogging is wonderful like that isn't it? I'm so glad you dropped by. You're not too late for the party- it's always going on. ;-)

Thank you for sharing your experience. It really helps actually, the more I hear about what people have done the more perspective I have- I like that. I really do appreciate it and please drop by to share more gems of wisedom.

Habebi said...

Wonderful Pliers! Yes, I know about the program, but, hadn't looked into it as of yet. I think, however, it is something that I should explore because as you said it provides a way to France w/a monthly income. I have heard some horror stories though, mais la vie- c'est comme ca non? Will have to weigh pro and cons of this possibility.

It is good to see you again! I have missed your wonderful comments and insights. A bientot!