Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Twelve Christmas Memories: Round IV

A little piece of this year's Christmas tree. It's a real one which is so exciting for me! First real one in a LONG time.
If you haven't been able to figure this out, know that I freakin' love Christmas trees. L-O-V-E them. It's odd as I do not have decorative inclinations when it comes to the house any other time of the year. Whip out a Christmas tree and I'm all about making that sucker look good and sparkle. I sometimes think I was a raccoon in a previous life- I really dig shiny things sometimes. I think trees in the home, for me, is that idyllic symbol of Christmas. Something that we all gather around and have many happy moments with the gift giving and all that. And, no matter where we moved we always had our tree at Christmas time to make me feel not so far away from family and friends. That's how evocative a Christmas tree is to my memory banks.
One Christmas when my family gathered around to decorate the Christmas tree a major argument broke out. Full on verbal assault. My mother was probably tired and worn out from her job (she was working in an elementary school while dealing with a slew of major health issues), my father was likely worn out from traveling during most of the week and having to come home to project after project and my brother being the combative type wasn't having their negativity. What a combo!! Naturally I tried to settle the argument a role I took up many times for one reason or another. Heck I don't even remember what that particular argument was about. It was one of many pointless angry battles that would sometimes go through the house like a terrible wildfire that I couldn't put out.
Things reached a point where my parents and my brother wouldn't have anything to do with one another and no one was in the mood to decorate the tree. Except me. My father scoffed and said, "Fine do it yourself!!" And so I did. Lights and all. My brother came in later to help me out what was awesome as it was a really tall tree. I think this Christmas memory sticks out because despite conflict I still clung to traditions and the ritual of making Christmas special. I put the Christmas movies tape in and went to it, bound and determined to get our tree sparkling. Later that determination to find something, anything to be happy about with Christmas would serve me during some difficult Christmas seasons. Let's face we all have a couple that definitely didn't turn out the way we wanted. I've learned to be okay with that as those not so great Christmases help to make the next ones more special.


Sarah said...

(((HUGS))) Yay for creating your own traditions early! ;)

Habebi said...

Sarah- Amen to that! It's becoming more and more apparent to me how I needed to create those traditions for myself amongst the moving and the chaos that could happen during Christmas when people loose sight of the meaning of Christmas.