Saturday, January 3, 2009


I'm leaving for Mobile, Alabama tomorrow with the TU band for the GMAC bowl. I'll be there until Tuesday and come back immediatly after the game which means I'll be home in the wee hours of the morning. I'm looking forward to a chance to travel (after all, it's a free trip and I get a per diem) and at the same time.... I am dreading the whole thing.
This trip will be my last with the TU band, at least in the forseeable future and it's bittersweet for me. I graduated last semester though all the official paperwork needs to be completed. But, I'm done...D-O-N-E. And it's weird. The last two and half years of my stint in college I actually found my passion for learning once again. When I decided to pursue a BA in political science along with the music degree I re-discovered my love for learning, analyizing, debate, discussion, and research. Seriously, it was glorious for me. This last semester I began to understand my flaws as a student and realize that there's so many things I have to do to develop my skills in writing and research.
And now here I am, living in a house with a roommate, working part-time, and trying to figure out what my purpose is. There are several things that I want/need to do. Probably need find another job as I would like to not be scraping by. That's a top priority. However, I want to learn German, refresh my rusty French, travel, see if I can join the TCFR, find other groups to network and learn from that deal with the international/political realm. Still, I cannot help but feel listless, without substance, scattered, and with no sense of where I need to go.
Hopefully time away from school will help- help in what way? I have no idea. I do feel deep down the need to go to grad school and maybe I will. Where and for what? Again, not so sure. I wish I could have this all figured out, but, that doesn't seem to be how things work. So, that leaves me with today- which entails laundry, packing, and trying not to think too much.

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