Okay how can you not laugh at this picture? Eventhough, I'm kinda blue about my job situation this picture of Leo napping makes me smile. Despite the crummy week, and summer for that matter, I recieved good news in regards to Leo. We have reached the halfway point in his recovery. He is now allowed to be off leash in the house and move about freely (but to be monitored so he doesn't jump nor run). We also can take him for short walks to build up his strength and he can go back to limited training. To say I'm relieved and excited is an understatement. Leo has loved his new sense of freedom, though we often have to put him back in his kennel to settle because he wants to play! In a couple of weeks he will get x-rays done of his broken leg and depending on what those images show he may get his pins out then, or we may wait a couple of weeks. Either way, we've reached the last part of this recovery process! Can I hear a hallelujah?
Of course, I'm still processing the whole job situation. Tough decisions are being mulled over and it's hard not to be upset at myself for what happened. I tend to be hyper responsible, so in this case, I have the thought that maybe if I had just tried harder to keep the business running this wouldn't have happened. However, I don't know how to run a business do I? My boss and the other partners did not, or were not, able to provide the leadership and guidance I needed to do my job even better than I did. All I can do is learn from this and move on.
It's so hard, especially since I have to consider other options, work wise, as I have a life to live and dreams/goals I want to accomplish. Those cannot be 'funded' without a certain degree of financial stability. While money is not the most important thing to me, I can't discount it. If I didn't have monetary stability how could I take care of my car if it broke down, for example? What if I were to get very ill or injured? While I adore teaching piano, just teaching won't cut it if worse case scenarios were to play out will it?
I am still in the middle of mulling things over, but, every day is helping me gain perspective. The fears are still there, the hurt is still there, but, with time those are getting less and I realize I have to take care of myself. I cannot continue waiting and waiting for things to come together at the studio. I have been with them for five years. This position was, as I was told, supposed to lead to more salary (with more responsibilities and students) and insurance- all within a year. In the end it didn't work out that way and a great deal of that was well out of my control. Now it's time to explore what my options are and keep an eye out for opportunities that are even better than what I have. Thank you all for the kind supportive words, those have helped so much! Bear with me as I close up this part of my life and work to start a new and hopefully better chapter.