Ever wonder what an interal fixator looks like?
Leo did it again. While I was working at a day camp this week [via my studio] Leo magically managed to loosen up the e-collar, dubbed 'cone of sham' thanks to 'Up'. The cone of shame hasn't been destroyed thank goodness, but, he did manage to chew off the bandages on the hardware for the fourth time. As I said on Facebook, this is getting old.
I promise Leo wasn't that stressed during this. In fact, he was just looking around and keeping still otherwise. Do like the 'fear of God' look though!
Thankfully Dr. Mary was at Therapetics today and willing to get Leo fixed up. Jon and I got Leo there and Dr. Mary got to work. I'm not going to lie, this recovery process has been loooonnnngggggg and I'm ready, as is Leo, to have him running, playing, and training normally. Earlier this week Leo went to his first training class in six weeks and good gravy that was stressful. Leo was distracted, overstimulated, tired, and unable to do most of the tasks I asked him. At one point I was seriously thinking I wouldn't be able to get Leo trained at all. A bit dramatic, yes, but ever since the job loss issue I've felt a bit overwhelmed and questioning whether or not I can do anything right.
But you know what happened? When Jon dropped Leo and I off at the house after we were done at Therapetics, I took him for a walk. It wasn't a major struggle this time, he didn't try to take off, and he got the message that he needed to stay near my side. Was it perfect? No. But, it was better, a LOT better than our last walk. Progress, for the first time I felt that there was progress with Leo. I know he's gotten better, but, it's hard to see and feel that assurance. There has just been that worry, fear he'll injure himself, fear he'll never get back where he was in training, and the guilt that it would be my fault if anything went wrong.
What a face! A little petting and Leo just closed his eyes and soaked it up. Can you blame him?
Fear, frustration, worry are all a normal part of this process. Not just Leo's recovery and training, but, with me as I search for a new job and work towards my dreams. It is difficult during the trials to keep the goals in mind. It's hard to stay optimistic, but, you know, as long as I work through the tough times I'll get to that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel.